I feel like I’ve given away the best parts of myself

“We were almost something.” And it was the word “almost” that made my stomach turn. “We were so close. We were everything. Except we were also nothing.” And as I look back I realize how she was right. (That’s one of the things I always loved about her. She was usually right) We were what everyone dreamt about. We had that. But I left her for someone else without giving her a chance even though she’s always been the one. God, I am so regretful of that Friday night. I was afraid. Afraid of what we could have become and maybe I didn’t want to ruin our friendship but maybe I loved her so much I couldn’t think straight. But thinking of her with someone other than me brings a sharp pain to my throat and I can’t wrap my head around what could have been. I could be waking up next to her right now on this Sunday morning but here I am thinking of her and how she’s doing. I could be a part of her life. But I’m not. However, I will always love her the most.
What I hope he says to himself now that we’re nothing (via paxadisee)

urparty:

being in my 20s is like I understand more of my mother and less than i ever have. My childhood friends are strangers to me and there’s no one i know better. i want to drink wine. i never stopped wanting to climb trees. i know more than I’ve ever known before. I don’t know anything at all. i’m seven years old and sixteen and twenty nine and seventy. I can’t tell when i’m happy. I think the only thing that will make me happy is to be little again. i want to be really old. i go to the ocean and feel like nothing matters more than that. in my bedroom everything matters so much. I go to the grocery store every day. i know how to cook a lot of things but the only thing i know how to eat is fried eggs. I can take care of myself but i want to be taken care of. i want to go home and I don’t know where that is. i think it may be somewhere inside of me but i’m not sure

thewildetyme:

the feminine urge to run barefoot into the forest. to read and make art. to tell people how much they mean to you. to pick pretty flowers and put them in someone’s hair. to stare at the sky and see your own breath as you breathe in the changing air.

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